In a few months I’ll be married for 12 years. TWELVE! And we dated for 6 years before that.
I’m nodding my head in disbelief.
How fast time has past. Was college really that long ago?
We work hard on our relationship. You have to after so many years and kids and experiences.
I can honestly say I had no real travel aspirations when we married. I enjoyed going on short vacations and taking weekend trips, but with limited funds and, well, an unworldly view of life, traveling was not really a priority.
My, things have changed.
Now I can’t stop dreaming of trips!
Short trips. Long trips. Cheap trips. Luxurious trips. Active trips. Relaxing trips. Trips with the kids. Trips without the kids. Local trips. International trips. Trips. Trips. Trips!
I just want to TRAVEL!
Unfortunately, The Husband does not share my excitement.
I hesitate to call him a home body as he likes going out and is pretty game for most road trips as long as we don’t go too often or travel too far.
Recently, I dragged him to Siesta Key Florida for a couples weekend and we had an amazing time. Part of me was hoping the experience would help him forget his fear of flying and adopt my new passion for travel.
It didn’t happen.
First of all, his fear is real and not something I can not help him get him through. Like most things in life, he has to want to change, and unfortunately he doesn’t.
His expression when we landed was priceless.
My Non-Traveling Husband Just Happy to be Alive
He was so happy to just be on the ground! I thought, maybe, just maybe, by flying his fear would subside enough to take future flights. Instead, the experience may have reinforced his anxiety.
*sigh*
What’s an aspiring traveler to do?!
Travel!
Of course.
The great thing about being in a healthy relationship is one person’s desires aren’t in competition with the other’s. The Husband understands and supports my new found obsession to travel, and I respect his decision not to.
He thinks I’m crazy for wanting see the world and I think he’s nuts for not wanting to.
He’d be happy to never, ever get on another plane and I can’t wait to see the view from 3o,000 feet again.
We really couldn’t be more opposite.
I think it may be why we “work.”
Being married to a non-traveler is not really an issue, unless you make it one.
PREVIOUS POST
Caroline
December 12, 2012I love to travel and my husband does not, at least not by plane. He's fine with me leaving without him and he's happy to stay at home. We try to plan vacations that we can drive to and we have taken several long road trips but I have also taken several trips out of the country without him. He, too, has a fear of flying. I hope that one day he gets over his fear so we can travel together but until then, I am not going to let it stop me from enjoying all there is to enjoy in this amazing world we live in!
Emily
December 12, 2012My husband has zero desire to travel, ever. As a travel lover, I don't understand it at all, but I really do love that he doesn't mind for me to go off wherever I want and leave him at home. He would rather take 2 weeks off and do stuff around the house, whereas I want to see new things. We've only taken 1 real trip in 10 years together, and that was our honeymoon. We took a trip with his family to DC, but that was more of a family mess than a vacation. I say high five to the husbands who let us fly solo!
sherijung
December 12, 2012One word: cruise. They are not just for old people!
Roni
December 12, 2012On my list! Maybe even this year for our anniversary!!
RG
January 8, 2013I think it's great that you have a newfound obsession with travel, and it sounds like your husband is supportive of that in many ways. I think you see him as your opposite when he's not necessarily as gung-ho as you are, but I know from personal experience that it can be much worse. I have a family member who can't visit for xmas without packing his own box of cereal! Apparently we'd shopped for his visit the prior time but bought the wrong brand of cluster crunch. I'm more well-traveled than you, but I still tend to prefer day trips, both for price and for exhaustion. I've spent the last three years not far from Baltimore but I haven't made the effort to explore that city because DC is more accessible and keeps me busy. Do you have any recommendations for restaurants or activities? I have done the harbor with kids.
Roni
January 11, 2013OK, that's bad. When I say my husband is my opposite I only mean our interests. He's a home body, I like to go out. He's shy, I'm outgoing. Things like that. We are actually very compatible. :) As for Baltimore spots, I'm still learning the city too! I just reviewed Woodberry Kitchen which I'm adding to my must try list... http://theunworldlytravelers.com/2013/01/four-courses-at-the-woodberry/ If you like more of a low key bar scene, there's a dive place that makes the BEST crab cakes on the planet called, Koco's. Also if you can make up for Hambden fest that's always a fun! I think it's in the fall.
Julia
January 12, 2013I grew up outside of Baltimore and my favorite restaurant is Pazo, hands down. Also the Black Olive if you like fish and Kalis Kourt for a special occasion. If you're willing to go to a different area with the kids, I highly recommend Duck Pin Bowling. We used to go as a family and now we take the kids and they LOVE it, and it's a Baltimore tradition. (The pins and balls are much smaller, and if you get a lane for the kids it's perfect) Nearby there's a restaurant called Ale Mary's that's a very laid back bar and their specialty is different types of tater tots! Grouping those two things was a great family outing for us. :)
Roni
January 13, 2013Thanks for all the suggestions Julia! Oh! and I love Pazo's too. I totally forgot about it!
Nancy
January 22, 2013I love to travel the way you use to, I am divorced, but still friends with my ex husband. My son is now 23yrs old. I am the lover for travel and he could care less. However, he did go with my on my last cruise "His theory was to protect me from the Islanders" Then, I like to go out and see as much as I can in one day and take pictures of everything! He finally tells me. He does not like to do excursions, or timely things. Even at dinner table we had to have our table switched from a group table to a table for two. Anything is possible on a cruise! I don't think I will take him on my next cruise, or trip, esp. if it is a Trafalgar trip. Good topic for discussion. You have to compromise.
Nancy
January 22, 2013sorry for the typo error on the first sentence, meant to say. I love to travel the way you do.
A Willful Weekend Getaway
May 18, 2013Hi Roni, I have travelled extensively as I was a travel agent for 25 years, I am now retired and miss it; however, I am on a walker and traveling to many places in Europe is difficlt. We are the only coutry in the world who looks after their physically challenged people. My husband and I still travel quite a bit but mostly domestic. Cruising is a great option for your husband. There is something for everyone to do and you can meet up for dinner :-) I usually cruise on Celebrity because the food is better than most moderately priced cruises. Next, I trying Oceania because husband doesn't neeed to dress up and the food is wonderful. I'm so glad you are going to travel alone. Sometimes you have more interesting experiences. I travaeled through Northern England and Scotland alone and met the most wonderful people. Good luck!
Planning an Anniversary Getaway
May 18, 2013Sorry for the typos, my ring finger is taped up :-(